Germany's Guide to Dealing with Idiots
by Germany'sFrau
Summary: Germany has to deal with some pretty annoying people 24/7. Read about his ordeals with Italy, his older brother, and other people who annoy the crap out of him here. Rated T to be safe.
1. Never leave things lying around

**"NEVER leave things lying around the house"**

Germany growled in annoyance as he watched the Italian running slowly, and rather pathetically, around the dirt track.

"Italy! Pick up the pace or you von't have lunch!" he yelled at the italian, who sped up a bit.

"Noooo! I need my pasta!" He cried out as a bit of tears fell from his eyes, still running. Germany continued to watch him and threatened him until the Italian was finally running at a descent pace.

~*1 hour Later*~

"That's enough training for today, italy!" Germany said, "You can go inside and eat now."

Italy jumped up from his push-up position with a goofy grin plastered on his face. "Yay!~ Gratzie Germany!~" he cheered, running into the house at sonic speed.

"Sometimes I really don't understand that kid." He thought to himself with a sigh, following the Italian into the house.

However, once he entered the kitchen and saw Italy holding something in his hand he immediately froze, a blush creeping onto his cheeks. Italy examined one of the pages of the book, which had an almost completely nude woman on the cover, and 'Ve'd as he was looking at it.

"Germany, what is this weird book?" he asked innocently, tilting his head slightly to the side. Germany ran up to the italian and snatched the book away from him, face almost completely red.

"I-I have no idea." the german man answered.

"But-," Italy started.

"I said I have no idea!" Germany yelled at him, causing the Italian to scream softly.

"A-alright!" Italy turned away from him and started to cook pasta, humming softly.

Germany's blush became lighter as he sighed. He walked up to his stairs towards his room. He opened the wooden door and walked up to his closet, opening it up with a key. Once inside the rather huge closet, he placed the book on one of the shelves, next to some 'toys'.

"I need to be more careful vith zhese things and not leave them lying around," he told himself, locking the closet and heading back down stairs to eat pasta with Italy.

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**A/N: I might actually work on this fic on a daily basis. I just haven't updated my other fics because I don't have any ideas...I don't mind if you guys hate on me for that. **

**Well anyways, tell me what you think about this story in a review or fav it if you want.  
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	2. Never let your brother

**NEVER let your brother take your dogs for a walk**

"Make sure to watch this idiot while you're out," Germany told his three dogs Aster, Blackie, and Berlitz as he leaned down in front of them. They all barked in unison as a reply and he smiled, petting their heads.

Prussia looked a bit taken from back from his brother's staement.

"I can't believe you trust dogs more than me!" the Prussian pouted.

Germany stood up and looked at his brother. "Vell maybe it's because my dogs are more mature than you," he said while handing him the three leashes.

Prussia laughed at him. "There's no way these mutts are more mature than me!" he said in between laughs.

The three dogs look up at him and almost seemed to glare at him, growling.

Prussia heard the growls and immediately stopped laughing.

"Make sure to be back within an hour. They need to take their bath." Germany reminded Prussia as they walked out the front door.

"Don't worry so much West~" Prussia laughed as he walked down the path that lead to their door.

"Somehow I know he's going to find a way to screw this up..." he sighed, closing the door.

~*With Prussia and the dogs*~

"Okay you unawesome mutts, we're going to take a different path than you and West usually take~" He told the dogs, who seemed to be ignoring him. He started to lead them down an unknown street with shops up ahead.

The dogs sniffed the air and barked happily at what they smelled. The three started to run as they pulled the albino along with them.

"Hey! Stop running so fast!" Prussia commanded, only to have the dogs run faster and break away from his grip. The three barked and ran faster into a shop.

Prussia scowled and ran after the dogs, peering into the shop once he was in front of it.

His eyes widened as he saw the dogs chewing on random meat products. Apparently they ran into a butcher's shop.

"Aster! Blackie! Berlitz!" Get out of there!" Prussia yelled, worried that the owner of the shop would come out and see them. Or even worst, he would have to pay for the meat they were eating.

Suddenly a big man with a butcher's knife came out and he started to scream at them.

The dogs looked at him and dropped everything, running out of the shop towards who knows where.

Prussia sighed and chased after them again, seeing a tail slip into a women's clothing shop. He ran into the store and was welcomed with multiple screams.

He noticed changing rooms in the corner of the shop and he saw them in some of them.

"You mutts!" Prussia yelled at them. "I thought you guys were mature!"

The dogs barked and ran out of the dressing rooms and out the door again.

"Not again!" Prussia groaned. "Stupid unawesome mutts..." He mumbled under his breath.

~*2 hours later w/ Germany*~

"Vhere the hell are they!?" Germany yelled at Prussia, who was covered in sweat from all the running. Germany decided to go looking for them around town since they weren't back in an hour.

"I-I don't know! Those stupid dogs had me running around everywhere chasing them!" Prussia yelled back.

"Vell maybe if you had taken the right path this vouldn't have happened!" Germany scolded him, hitting the Prussian in the back of the head.

"Ow! West that really hurt!" Prussia whined, rubbing the developing bump. The younger of the two sighed and he pulled out a dog whistle, blowing on it.

Almost immediately all three dogs came running from random directions and sat in front of their master in one straight line.

Germany glared at them, causing them to whimper in fright.

~*In Germany's Car*~

"I hope all four of you are avare that you're in for a punishment vhen we get home," the blonde said sternly. The four of them nodded in response.

"And you!" he yelled, causing Prussia to jump. "I vill never let you valk my dogs again after what you did today. That's vhy you're going to have the vorst punishment."

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**A/N: I will leave you, my dear readers, to imagine whatever punishment you think Prussia got XD  
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**Thanks for reading ouo  
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